really miss u dad..

I often imagine what would I do if I suddenly found a magic lamp and when I rubbed it genie will appear and offer three wishes he would turn down.
The first request I definitely said he wanted to the past to fix the error.

This desire comes back when the break was nemuin Cher song titled "If I Could Turn Back Time". I look at the lyrics really fit really. I was attracted to the past again (again and again), that if I could, I want to swap anything to go back and fix everything.
All the misunderstandings that it words. Everything. In a dad who has been keeping and taking care of me for this.

How's dad now?
Because something and other things (that I can not describe here), we broke up communications He is angry. He was silent .. either to make the hearts of each comfortable or is there something to intervene in this matter.

I fad stupidity. Stupidity that must be redeemed by losing him. And this became my biggest regret in life, much bigger than all the mistakes and stupidity I have ever done before.
I want to correct errors. But it was never given a chance to prove it.

I've tried to contact him to apologize but never succeeded. Email and SMS are also the same, unrequited. Once I managed to contact him, rushing once again become a shield him or her to avoid me.
Though, come to think (from my point of view of course) error that I do not seberapa.Tapi why he got that much anger?
Eventually I gave up. I've tried to apologize. Affairs he wants to forgive or not. Hell, I do not want to give a damn. WELL, LET'S LIVE OUR OWN LIFE IF THAT It would be WAY BETTER!) It's my pride that scream). But somehow he's still my dad. I still need him as a father who will see and take care of evil people out there.

As if forgetting all the hurt ego as he closed the door of his apology. Garingnya missed expense, then remember the silliness we've ever made together, blemish-reproach is not important, criticizing each other. In the past when there was a problem, that it occurred to me the first time contact phone number is (always wanted) but always the answer he was again busy, never mind.
 First, wise advice flowed from his lips which are very powerful and soothing. After that we began to share the silliness of what we made that day, anyone who is not really important that day, finally .. .. Voila! Fog in my heart lost some where. That was then. 

 Honestly I really miss. He wanted to go back to the period without the burden. For this, I've tried to communicate this to a friend who also happened to friends of both of us. But because he was busy working, be a problem terlantarkan and so unfinished business until this post I input in the FB record.

Last night at the home of friends, I also opened forlder (family photos) that contains the photos when we were intimate once (which until now have not I sent to the Recycle Bin, because not yet willing). Laughter bitter and sad because it seems like these moments will not happen again. It occurred just want to contact him, but again unpicked trauma calls attack. Arhghhhh. awry. What is it I actually delete the number from the phone book phone. Along with all the details, also the messages is not important. Good bye old memories. Move on and walk away.

One thing I did not realize, that number has been embedded in my brain a memory chip. And it seems to go through the brainwashing process repeatedly to delete it.

One word that I want from him, there is no other word than the word sorry.
I promise will be the best and make my father proud.